Of socks and Big ears
by LadyBraken
Summary: This is the not-so-famous story of Dobby the House elf, starring a lot of ears, stuff, food, kitchen and socks. The authors translated it into plain english for fluidity, do not worry. Lot of drama happen even if it's only two feets tall. (Humor- Fluff- house elves world (is that a thing?) - technically canon compliant)
1. Chapter 1

Hy! Mira Arien and myself are the proud co-author of this incredible story, full of fulff food and elf drama! This is the result of a very hot summer, too much Ice Tea and a lot of love. This is a try, but we might turn it into a real fanfic if yall like it!

We do like reviews, pretty please! And sorry if we give you a lot of food-carving ^^

~LadyBraken

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 **I- Dobby is a very nice elf albeit a bit… Dobby.**

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It was 5 pm when Albus Perceval Wulfric Dumbledore sent Dobby to the kitchens of Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, or as the little elf used to say 'Magic human stuff that they should let Dobby do'. Which is a strangely very difficult thing to say.

Dobby appeared in the kitchen with a loud 'pop'. The room was huge, about ten Malfoy kitchen, and the Malfoy were the type of people to have bloody albinos peacock in their backyard. Hundreds of little elfs were moving all around, doing… elf stuff, their enormous ears dancing around like they were trying to fly away from their heads. Which might be more true than one might like to. But what changed more for Dobby, was the atmosphere. The Kitchens of Hogwarts were underground, lit from the numerous fireplace from where a delicious fumet was spreading around and the meal of hundred of hormones and hungry teanagers was brewing.

There was tons of pumpkin juice in barrels against the walls , stoves and ovens were crowded by bubbling stews and drooling piece of venison. The other working stations filled with glossy vegetables and shiny fruits , cutting themselves as the elves cooked them into wonderful dishes. Somes elves hurried with the tableware and utensils floating behind them, shimmering.

All that to say that the kitchen of Hogwart were a very important place. No one want to see an angry and hungry Snape. Or want to live out of Dumbledore's lemon drop.

The elf named Dobby, However, wasn't any elfe. He had just saved the great Harry Potter! Threatening his life five or six times in the process, but well nobody should linger on such details. And the Great, Nice, Beautiful and Talented Harry Potter (you could hear the capitals when he said it) had said that Dubby was his friend ! So when he was asked to go in the Hogwarts kitchens, he had felt like the strongest two feets tall creature in the world.

However, he felt a bit lost right now.

"Hum… excuse me?" he sent around, hoping for a good soul's help.

Out of all the elves that were wearing togas made of tea-towels bearing the Hogwarts crest, none answered to his plea.

"He..Help?" He asked again ears lowering and eyes twinkling.

"Yes? Ho, you're the new one!" Exclaimed an elfe behind him.

Dobby turned to his saviour. It was a smaller elf, with big blue eyes and a patch of black hairs on the top of his head. His ears were strangely floppy, and thus more volatile than his peers'.

"Hullo, Mister new One. My name is Dumbo. The Head House elf of the Kitchen of Hogwarts, inventor of the Soaking Biscuit in red fruit jelly, Keeper of the Barrels , Great Protector of the Pantry and Cellar. asked me to take care of your introduction in the kitchens."

"Dobby is very happy that the Head House elf of the Kitchen of Hogwarts, inventor of the Soaking Biscuit in red fruit jelly, Keeper of the Barrels, Great Protector of the Pantry and Cellar took such attention towards Dobby. Dobby is honored. What is Dobby to do?"

It had to be said that none of the elves had taken their breath while saying that. However, their ears were flying and creating more air that needed for the two creatures. It is said that a reunion of angry house elves could create a maelstrom. Very useful during hot summers.

"Well, you have to help doing the food. We are preparing the dinner right now. Lot of bellys, lot of work."

At that, the small elf winked for reasons. Dumbo led the way through the five longs tables , identical to those in the Great Hall. The tableware was almost done and there was less forks and spoons floating around. They arrived in front of the huge fireplace where two elves were moving a boar on a spit along with potatoes in the fire.

"So, Dumbo is the best cook around. If Dobby want any help in the food-making, he should ask Dumbo! except for the Great Reciepe of Lady Huflapoof, of course , that only the Head House elf of the Kitchen of Hogwarts, inventor of the Soaking Biscuit in red fruit jelly, Keeper of the Barrels, Great Protector of the Pantry and Cellar can do it, and only on special occasions of course."

Severals elves hopped in delight as the tables filled rapidly with huge amount of food. Others held the plates and dishes above their heads waiting for room to be made on the tables. One appeared from nowhere with the biggest pineapple Dobby had ever seen and urged to the baking station.

"You see the pretty one with the ears? That's Nonsy. She's nice, Dumbo know that. Sometimes, she helps Dumbo to do the writing on the jars, you know! Quite a smart one. And the one next to her, it's Sooky, her sister. She just had a small one, cute and quite vivid, always crying and stuff. Dobby should help her sometimes. Luckily, there isn't much work at this time of the year, so Sooky isn't too tired, you know, but it's a bit hard for her."

"Don't the cute vivid little one have an other parent?"

"That he had. But the poor elf had an accident with the little wizarding-humans. Isn't quite much the same since."

Dobby's mouth turned into a big 'oh'. He was far too used to what could happen around the little wizarding-humans. Except for the Great Smart and Kind Harry Potter, of course. Harry Potter was Dobby's friend!

"So, we start the breakfast at 6 before the great sunny globe shine, and we go to do the household on the little wizarding ones places while they eat. Then we have a free hour, and then, we do the lunch. There is three lunch to allow everyone to eat. After that, we have to go and clean all the stuff, and we have an other hour. Then, we do the supper, which ends around midnight with the cleaning and all that. After that, you can go to eat and sleep.

" That, Dobby can do ! " answered Dobby happily.

" What were you doing before coming into our Great Kitchen? Who were you serving ?" asked Dumbo watching closely the two with the spit moving away.

"Dobby was a house elf for the Malfoy family, but Dobby has no master anymore ! The Great and Smart Harry Potter helped Dobby and so Dobby helped Harry Potter against the mean ancient Master Malfoy that wanted to harm Harry Potter My Friend ! And then , Harry Potter tricked mean ancient master into giving Dobby a sock ! And so Dobby is free ! he said without stopping to breathe.

" But … Who is your Master now ?" asked Dumbo not quite understanding what Dobby was saying.

"Dobby has no Master anymore ! Dobby is a free elf ! " With that, the elfe giggled to show his one on only sock proudly.

He may had screamed ot a bit to loud, because a heavy silence suddenly fell on the famously noisy Hogwart's kitchen. Even the roasting boar catched its breath.

It was this eerie scenery that Minerva MacGonagall, otherwise known as ' The Great Nice Little Witch ', entered the kitchens like she would on the enemy's side of a battlefield. Which it was, in a way, considering the amount a bribing that took place in said kitchen to fulfill her needs in tea and scones.


	2. Chapter 2

I swear these things are quicker to write than anything I did so far. Well, we are two on it so... Anyway, that's the second chapter of the adventures of Dobby the elf! I hope you will like it. It's really... elfique?

I'm sorry?

Anyway, please review!

~LadyBraken

Disclaimer: I own a kitchen. Unfortunately not that one.

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 _ **II- The Great Big Nice MacGonagall or the art to persuade elves to make a feast**_

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 _It was this eerie scenery that Minerva MacGonagall, otherwise known as ' The Great Nice Little Witch ', entered the kitchens like she would on the enemy's side of a battlefield. Which it was, in a way, considering the amount a bribing that took place in said kitchen to fulfill her needs in tea and scones._

When McGonagall stepped into the Kitchen , she had been commissioned by the Headmaster to ask the elves for a feast. Right after talking to Potter ,who had _again_ put himself in an improbable and dangerous situation, The Great and Mighty Headmaster had insisted that they were having a feast. Dumbledore, in his shimmering robes had hopped for twenty minutes around his office , muttering about food and music being the greatest forms of magic , to convince the Transfiguration teacher to go and ask the elves for that huge and important mission. She knew that a such event was no light subject for the elves of Hogwarts, as they took a great pride in their work.

When she entered the kitchen, however, she found a quite unusual and awkward situation. By that, we mean that she found a silent kitchen where every elfe was still, staring at the Little Dobby, apparently doing some sore of dance of the socks, for all she knew.

Don't mind her, the house elves often did some strange and inexplicable things. One may wonder if Albus Dumbledore did had some house elf blood, for they were quite cryptic in their lifestyle. Or in anything really. But their strangeness was always a noisy and messy one. To see them all staring at one creature with disapprobation sent a shiver down her spine. It reminded the Gryffindor headhouse that they were a lot of elves, and that they were extremely powerful. If only because they were the one serving the food and having access to absolutely every part of the castle without supervision.

And then, all the elves looked at _her_. Their enormous ears slapped their faces in the movement, suppressing a bit of the dramatic of their action. The 'shblof" sound of their ears against their cheeks too.

" Hello Honkey , may I speak with the Head House elf of our Kitchens ?" she inquired politely.

"You mean the The Head House elf of the Kitchen of Hogwarts, inventor of the Soaking Biscuit in red fruit jelly, Keeper of the Barrels , Great Protector of the Pantry and Cellar?" asked the little elf after a few cringy seconds of silence.

"The…. very same " she replied uneasy.

"Yes ! yes he's here ! " Happily exclaimed the elf his ears going all over the place as he nodded.

Within minutes all the House elves stopped what they were doing and formed an alley and watched silently the old bearded elf solemnly making his way through the kitchens, his peers moving aside him like the Red Sea in front of Moses. He seemed to have seen quite a lot in his life of elf and yet his eyes were twinkling more than any pot or pan in the Kitchen. His stature was quite regal - for a House elf that is. His seemed taller, even if with his great age, and rounded back he was probably the smallest. He helped himself with a cane that was producing an echoing 'clop' at each of his steps, warning of his approach.

"I am The Head House elf of the Kitchen of Hogwarts, inventor of the Soaking Biscuit in red fruit jelly, Keeper of the Barrels , Great Protector of the Pantry and Cellar, the Great and Mighty. However, you can call me Bwarf." he announced. "It is a pleasure to welcome you in _my_ humble kitchen. Please sit, My lady."

Dobby had followed the old elf, his eyes shining with so much admiration that one probably see stars in them. His ears were all standing at the old elf's voice, and he was twisting his clothes in his little fists.

It was Him. The one and only, the Headmaster of the Kitchens. The little elf was almost jumping on his feets. Almost.

Minerva sighed. That was going to be a hell of a conversation . She stepped forward to meet the old elf, and tried to recall what to say and what not to say when addressing to such character

" Greetings, Headmaster of the Kitchens, you counterpart, Headmaster school, Dumbledore, would like you to prepare a feast instead of the traditional supper in the name of the recent rescue of our pupils by a student from a great Danger "

"And by one students, I believe that you mean Harry Potter?" the elf stated more than he asked, a knowing twinkle in his globulous eyes.

The elves gasped, as much at the mention of the famous Harry Potter than as the fact that the The Head House elf had actually said 'I'. Like a real person! That was the real power of Head House Elf of Hogwarts Kitchens!

" I see that you are, well informed as always , Head of the Kitchens " she muttered. Does every being in this castle _knows_ anything before the teachers ? Apparently, yes. Like, everyone.

At that, all the elves started to take sits around the two protagonists. It was rare to see Bwarf negotiate, but it was the tradition to enjoy the show with some popcorn. Dumbo silently motionned Dobby, who sat silently next to him. He had never seen something like this. The wizard woman wasn't giving orders!

Things were quite strange in this kitchen. Quite different for the Malfoys. But once again, the Beautiful Kind and Perfect Harry Potter wouldn't place him nowhere like the Malfoy's.

'scronch' 'scronch'

The elves were enjoying themselves. Minerva less so . It was like living the meal, but among the students. Who were _staring_ at her. This was for the students, and Albus was never going to let her be if she failed. She was going hear about this for days.

'Scronch' Scronch' echoed in the now very attentive kitchen.

"So would you be willing to held the feast ?" she asked again, hoping that it would do.

The Kitchen was hanging to the words of their Head House Elf.

"And please tell what will you give us for that service?" Slowly asked the old elf.

" We could arrange the planning in such way that you could have some time for yourselves?" That was not going to be accepted, Minerva was sure of it. Dumbledore's idea. Again.

"I thought you were serious, with this feast, Minerva…"

A murmur of 'oh!' and 'ah!' spread across the kitchen. He had called the The Great Nice Little Witch by her first name! and refused a word she had said! For Dobby, it was unprecedented. For the others, it was very, very important. Their honor, as Hogwarts elves, was at stake.

"In this case we could deal a few barrels of Butterbier instead ?" That was more likely to please the elves, thought the witch. Free Time , really , Albus what on earth were you thinking?

"We have all the reserves of butterbear of the castle, Professor. And some of us are guarding Hogsmades's reserves too. We probably could give you more butterbeer, not the other way around."

" Well, the students in detention will be cleaning the aviary , from the end of the year until the first semester of the next one. Would that be a fair deal to you?"

It was her last shot, if this was not working , Dumbledore could get down here to negotiate himself and sacrifice a few lemon drops in the way.

She watched Bwarf carefully weighing the benefits of such deal. It was at times like this that Minerva really saw the similarities between Dumbledore and his elf counterpart.

"One might say that sacrifices must be made, for the greater good, of course… But you will know that one day, still so innocent, I see! Ah, youth… I…"

He made a dramatic pause, winning a few gasp for the eleves, "As the he Head House elf of the Kitchen of Hogwarts, inventor of the Soaking Biscuit in red fruit jelly, Keeper of the Barrels , Great Protector of the Pantry and Cellar, the Great and Mighty, agree to your conditions in the name of this kitchen. However, you should tell the Headmaster that this shall not happen again."

 _Until the next time_ , was unsaid.

As soon as the words left the venerable elf's mouth, all his subordinates ran in every direction, if any direction at all. They had about four hours to complete a entire feast! Dobby was completely lost. He watched the Professor withdrew to her part of the castle without daring a move, until Dumbo took him by the hand and sent him cut shiny vegetables.

"You see, the Litlle Masters Wizards don't like vegetables. But, the Great Headmaster insist that they need to eat some, for some reasons. So we have to make them eat them without knowing what they are doing. This-" He showed all the ingredients spread on the table "Is what we need to make a quiche. the students don't feel the vegetables under the eggs, the dough and the cake-like form."

Dumbo was the kind of elf that never stop talking, apparently. Not that Dobby minded. At the Malfoy's, he was some sort of butler for them, and thus isolated from his counterparts.

"Dobby want to thanks Dumbo for being nice to Dobby! Would Dumbo agreed to be Dobby's friend?"

"Dumbo don't see why not, but Dobby should hide that sock, if he wants no trouble. Not all elf are as open minded as Dumbo or the Head House elf of the Kitchen of Hogwarts, inventor of the Soaking Biscuit in red fruit jelly, Keeper of the Barrels , Great Protector of the Pantry and Cellar, the Great and Mighty."

"Dobby will be careful, but Dobby is proud to be a-"

"Shush! Dumbo tells you, be discreet! If you are… what you say you are, then you aren't under the protection of the Great Big Castle. That's no good!"

"Dobby understand." Muttered the little elf, his ears falling sadly around his face.

As Dobby turned to help for the preparation of the hundreds of quiche, he suddenly noticed that the other elves had their heads in books that came flying down in the kitchens, slightly jumping in the airs like they were going down some invisible stairs. The books were voluminous and illuminated with more recipes that Dobby had ever seen .

Then everything came together in a line of cooking, baking, cutting, roasting. Dobby was overwhelmed by the chaotic but highly efficace organisation of hundred of elfs doing magic at the same time, and for the same purpose.

There were plenty of work to do, and plenty of elves to do it. The bakery station was soon crowded by chocolate mousse and desserts building themselves on the plates, fruit grout dropping everywhere with a tasty smell that would make mouth water. The meat was add to the stew and pans and pots clinged against each other in a musical way. It was a great orchestra of casseroles and bubbles from the stew and soup, backed with the crackling sound of meat and vegetables on the stove. Some elves were handling salad leaves nearly as big as their ears , jongling with tomatoes and the salad dressing. Dobby had to mind fishes flying around to the working stations, quickly followed by carrots and breadcrumbs.

"Dobby should cut them smaller."

The elfe turned around, his ears slapping once again his face, but he proudly notice to himself that this time none of it came into his eyes.

"Oh euh erm yes thank you."

"Nonsy's name is Nonsy. You're the new one! Nonsy is very happy to see a new face in the kitchens!"

"Dobby is very happy to work in the kitchens too. Dobby can help a lot of Little Wizarding Men!"

The female nodded, agitating her little arms from excitement.

"Yes we have so many masters! It is an honor, for elves like us. The Great Castle is known all around the world, you know!"

The two elfs continued to talk with more exciting than a child at Christmas until Dumbo reminded them that they had a feast to prepare.

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I hope you are hungry now. Because we are.

Review?

:)


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